How I went from Broke and Anxious to Satisfied and Rich

This article provides a little background leading up to My Upcoming Book on Retirement Travel and is Copyright 2023 by Dan F. Spencer

Do you want to be happy?

According to cognitive psychologist Daniel Kahneman happiness and satisfaction are distinct and different. Happiness is a momentary experience that arises spontaneously and is fleeting. Satisfaction is a long-term feeling, built over time and based on achieving goals and building the kind of life you admire.

Kahneman was the winner of the 2002 Nobel Prize in economics before he decided to become a cognitive psychologist, by the way, so he is not an average guy who doesn’t know what he’s talking about. He is a person who has demonstrated that setting goals and achieving satisfaction is an available option, even if it means a total change in direction, and that it is something anybody can do.

So if you’re not completely satisfied with where you currently find yourself in life, what can you do about it?

Perhaps you want to consider the methodology that worked for me.

Suddenly I had no plan...

I didn’t have the luxury of planning for retirement. My wife (now ex-) “retired me” while I was recovering from a serious surgery. She called Social Security and initiated the collection of benefits. As I recall, she had already received a couple of months of benefits before I was aware that I “was retired.” I didn’t complain about it for a couple of reasons. The first reason was that my job wasn’t held open for me and I was going to have to start over again in the job market, and that didn’t seem appealing at the time. The second reason was that all the “experts” on Social Security continually advised against beginning to draw the benefits at the earliest opportunity. It seems they universally assume that you don’t have young kids in the household by the time you reach the age of 62. That wasn’t a valid assumption for me. We had twins who were still underage at that time. I passed up about $10,000 of earned benefits by not filing at the earliest possible opportunity. So, for both of these reasons retiring early really was a reasonably good option at the time. However, I HAD DONE NO PLANNING AND DID NOT HAVE A RETIREMENT STRATEGY!

I’m not going to go into depth on details at this point, but let’s suffice it to say my wife and I were separated, I was “not happy” (not satisfied, I realize now) and as a holdover from the stress of my brother dying unexpectedly some years earlier, I was prone to severe panic attacks. If you have never had chronic anxiety or a panic attack, I can only tell you I didn’t know what it was like either until it happened to me.

A panic attack can take many forms, but for me it was like someone grabbed me by the throat and I could not catch my breath. I literally felt an ache in my throat, probably from the spastic contraction of the muscles which were choking off my airway. No, it’s not fun. I doubt that anyone has actually died from a panic attack, but in the moment that fact does nothing to calm and reassure you.

The only reason I’m telling you all of this is so you can get an idea of where I was when I started to make the changes I considered necessary.

My wife and I were getting a divorce. I was depressed, and with good reason. My total income was now a meager Social Security check. I was 63 years old with no place to call home, and to make things even less fulfilling, my own kids would barely talk to me. I was an emotional basket case with daily anxiety and occasional panic attacks. When I couldn’t get stable on the medications I needed, I self medicated with alcohol. This is probably the profile of many homeless men just months before they die in a gutter or homeless camp somewhere. To say my prospects did not look good would be an understatement.

So when you hit bottom, what do you do?

The longest journey begins with a single step, and that first step is the hardest one when you are sitting in a puddle of muck created by your own self-pity. The reality is that you have only two choices. One choice is to continue to sit there in the muck. Inaction is one possible choice. Your other choice is decide on taking action and begin. It’s only when you make that second choice that you can change your circumstances.

Anyone I describe will be fictional in details, but factual in their roles toward my progress. I thank them for their roles in my life.. In fact, having gratitude for other people is essential for your own personal progress.

To say the least, I was not in a happy place. Fortunately, I had relationships that meant I at least had temporary places to sleep where I could be protected from the weather and safe from harm. I could also manage to be dressed in clean clothes and be groomed. These things are important when you are at risk of backsliding. Every day you should put the best face possible on your situation. Then I began to actively seek another relationship. I wanted someone to be my partner in a plan to improve our lives. That was the baseline. If anything else developed, that would be a plus, but it wasn’t necessary. If you set your expectations too high, you are setting yourself up for disappointment.

I met a lady through an online dating site. We met for lunch. She was pleasant. There was nothing extraordinary about it, but we were both interested in some kind of connection, and we were both pretty much without attachments at that time, except that she did have a job. Even better, she worked as a contractor, unsupervised and in another part of the state. What was good about that? As it turns out, I could travel with her and assist her on her job. I wasn’t exactly getting paid, but I had few expenses and my lifestyle improved.

I began to feel some renewed confidence in myself, and there were a couple of times that I actually made some significant contributions to the work we were doing. I am grateful to her for our time together. Some time along the way, she realized that her primary desire was for someone to provide her with financial security, and that I was not in a position to do that for her. Since I have been completely candid with you about my situation, you know that she was right. I would be lucky if I could support myself, much less provide financial independence for two of us, at least at that time.

So we parted ways.

I had not been entirely idle in my spare time. I had been doing some research. I always wanted to travel when I retired. But how can you spend money on travel when you are all but broke and have only a small Social Security check for income? Do some research and you will find that the only difficulty with that idea is the ongoing expenses you have in your home country. All I had to do was sell my car, and I had no expenses.

“GO WHERE YOU ARE TREATED BEST!” - Andrew Henderson, Nomad Capitalist

I discovered that there are a myriad of countries where you can travel and enjoy yourself in style for a LOWER COST THAN LIVING IN POVERTY IN THE UNITED STATES! So I began looking for where I would be treated best!

Obviously, if you’re starting with limited resources and you spend too much money on airfares and hotels and restaurants, you aren’t going to get ahead financially. You need to always keep your expenses lower than your income.

Accumulate money – here’s how I did it.

In most countries, there are lodgings called hostels (or hostals) where you can stay for considerably less than conventional hotels. One thing that first made me consider staying at hostels was watching a traveler who was posting his travels on social media, and one night he couldn’t find an available hotel. He decided a hostel was better than sleeping in the park, and after that he was so excited about the experience he said he will never stay in a conventional hotel again!

One type of accommodation most hostels offer is a small dormitory where you might have several bunk beds. Now, if your initial reaction to the idea of sharing a room with strangers is a little repulsive, try to keep an open mind for a few minutes. The beauty of this arrangement is that you will immediately get to know other foreigners who are there to explore the area the same as you are. You now have buddies to go on day trips with you. Seriously, I have met some wonderful people that way. Many of us stay in touch on social media, and there is no other way I would ever have come to know these amazing adventurers. There have been times when I wanted to visit a particular city, and I have a friend I know who lives there that I met at a hostel and I end up spending several nights with them in their home.

Security has never been a problem in a hostel. They ordinarily have lockers where you can keep your valuables and passport. Carry a photocopy of your passport with you out on the streets, not the original. I have never had anything stolen at a hostel. There is an atmosphere of mutual respect. I have stayed in one hostel for months. They allowed me to store my belongings with them for several months while I went back to the States, and I resumed my stay with them when I returned. Honestly, it can almost become like family. For longer stays, you can negotiate a discount rate that is cheaper than a furnished apartment, and you don’t have to do your own laundry.

At times, I have also rented a single bedroom in a large house, with kitchen privileges. There was one where I would have stayed for a long time, except there was no hot water in the shower! Through all of these times, I was saving money each and every month. This is the secret. Keep your expenses below your income. It’s very difficult to do in countries where the official language is English, Japanese or Icelandic, but it’s easy to do in many places in the world. I have a credit card, but it is for emergencies. I will occasionally charge a large purchase on it and take 3 or 4 months to pay it off, just so the bank doesn’t want to cancel my card, but I never carry balances on it because I need to. That is the road to perdition.

So, where did all of this get me? Well, five years later I am living in a luxury apartment on the top floor of a high-security building and supporting a girlfriend and her child, and the daughter attends a private school. I also provide financial assistance to her brother and his family and her mother in another country. I enjoy wine from Spain and rum from Peru, and the aforementioned girlfriend is a pretty good cook. She also likes keeping the house clean. When I go someplace in the city, I have a driver. My bank balance is about $8,000,000. Of course, that’s Pesos, but I also have a US bank account with a similar value. I don’t have everything. I just have everything that I want. And I am very grateful for that.

I no longer have anxiety issues and it’s been years since I had a panic attack.

Your life probably won’t change itself, but if you want some change you can do it. Take radical, life-changing action, and retain an Attitude of Gratitude!